Chandni Chowk to China: Crapfest

First thing that I did after coming out of the theatre was buy a bottle of Muskovy, a brewed-in-Kerala vodka, unusually strong, can give a tough competition to Sharktooth. After 4 pegs, we had an argument which movie was worst ever - Himesh's Karzzz, Mithun's Gunda or Akki's CC2C. My vehement protests managed to get the cult classic Gunda out of topic, and finally Karzzz won the Krownnn. But that never implies that CC2C is a good movie. NEVER.

I am not writing this review to showcase my taste in cinema, but my increasing distaste in Bollywood magnum opii. I wonder what made Warner Brothers put money or lend it's brand (I'm not sure which business model the media giant used to participate in this crapfest) to CC2C.

Script: The storyline is as predictable as it can get. In fact the script is an arranged marriage between the celebrated cliches of Bollywood amd Kung-Fu reincarnation/revenge/comic genres, sad that the marriage did not work at all.

Acting: Deepika Padukone compensated her inability to act by appearing in two roles, and I am not complaining. Mithun, Akshay Kumar, Ranvir Shorey, Gordon Liu everyone else acted with the more or less the same passion with which they scratch their ass after waking up in the morning.

Action: Action is standard Hong Kong stuff and people exposed to Tamil movies for a considerable stint would yawn at CC2C antics. Seriously, Tamil movies are the best in Asia if you're talking innovative fight sequences. Warner Bros would have taken a prudent decision if it invested in a venture named "Chennai to China" featuring Vijay .

Music: Usual complaint about Bollywood song-and-dance numbers are that they disturb the plot, often coming across as a jarring element. In absence of a storyline, they are recalled as the refreshing parts of the movie(eg: Bachna Ae Haseeno). In Chandni Chowk to China, the less-than-ordinary music blended seamlessly with an equally hollow story. Once you're out of the theatre, you remember none.

We expected a historic crossover movie when world's biggest studio, largest movie industry, an international starcast and presumably the best stunt-directors in eastern hemisphere came together for Chandni Chowk to China. What we got was the untended restroom after a severe purgative overdose.

Music : Dev D

It was about a month back when I came across the first promo of Dev D in YouTube. Ever since, the tune 'Emosanal Atyachar' kept playing in back of my mind. Last week, I got hold of probably the most original Bollywood OST in last 10 years.

The soundtrack consists of 18 mindblowing numbers, each outshining any given other . The composer Amit Trivedi turns out to be hell of a dynamic guy. The songs he created can be tagged into categories as diverse as Rajasthani /Hariyanvi folk, Wedding Band song, Funk, Jazz, Rock and what not! Once you listen to the tracks, you are bound to run out of superlative words to appreciate the effort that is OST: Dev D. Whenever an awsome soundtrack arrives, composers hog most of the limelight. But not with Dev D. This movie is a ripe example of successful marriage between lyrics and music, where neither outshines the other or are equally brilliant.

Jewel of the OST is Emosanal Atyachar - the brass band version. This song has redefined the notion of break-up songs. Lyrics and music are earthy and exudes a manic kind of energy. Guess what, alongside the typical dil-pyar wordings, the lyrics contain "whore". Let's see whether it makes to the theatre. An ideal dope song. Except for two Punjabi tracks which sounded very usual to me (this can be attributed to my excessive exposure to Oye Lucky tracks for past one month :-P), every single track of the album are addictive.

The music has arrived in a big way with Emosanal Atyachar creating quite a tsunami among music lovers who subscribe to alternative genres. Let's hope the movie will be as spectacular as the OST projects it to be.

Emosanal Atyachar lyrics can be found here .
Anurag Kashyap talks about how Emosanal Atyachar was created here.