Chandni Chowk to China: Crapfest

First thing that I did after coming out of the theatre was buy a bottle of Muskovy, a brewed-in-Kerala vodka, unusually strong, can give a tough competition to Sharktooth. After 4 pegs, we had an argument which movie was worst ever - Himesh's Karzzz, Mithun's Gunda or Akki's CC2C. My vehement protests managed to get the cult classic Gunda out of topic, and finally Karzzz won the Krownnn. But that never implies that CC2C is a good movie. NEVER.

I am not writing this review to showcase my taste in cinema, but my increasing distaste in Bollywood magnum opii. I wonder what made Warner Brothers put money or lend it's brand (I'm not sure which business model the media giant used to participate in this crapfest) to CC2C.

Script: The storyline is as predictable as it can get. In fact the script is an arranged marriage between the celebrated cliches of Bollywood amd Kung-Fu reincarnation/revenge/comic genres, sad that the marriage did not work at all.

Acting: Deepika Padukone compensated her inability to act by appearing in two roles, and I am not complaining. Mithun, Akshay Kumar, Ranvir Shorey, Gordon Liu everyone else acted with the more or less the same passion with which they scratch their ass after waking up in the morning.

Action: Action is standard Hong Kong stuff and people exposed to Tamil movies for a considerable stint would yawn at CC2C antics. Seriously, Tamil movies are the best in Asia if you're talking innovative fight sequences. Warner Bros would have taken a prudent decision if it invested in a venture named "Chennai to China" featuring Vijay .

Music: Usual complaint about Bollywood song-and-dance numbers are that they disturb the plot, often coming across as a jarring element. In absence of a storyline, they are recalled as the refreshing parts of the movie(eg: Bachna Ae Haseeno). In Chandni Chowk to China, the less-than-ordinary music blended seamlessly with an equally hollow story. Once you're out of the theatre, you remember none.

We expected a historic crossover movie when world's biggest studio, largest movie industry, an international starcast and presumably the best stunt-directors in eastern hemisphere came together for Chandni Chowk to China. What we got was the untended restroom after a severe purgative overdose.